Guns For Hands - A Prinxiety story
by Panic1AtTheHere
Summary: Virgil’s done it again. And Roman decides to take action. But can he help Virgil see why he doesn’t need to do this to himself? Rating because of self-harm


**Hiya everyone! LunaPikazard again, here with another Sanders Sides one-shot. Once again, this is... *drumroll* Prinxiety! :D**

**Anyway, this is a songfic for the Twenty Øne Piløts song Guns For Hands, which is one of my favourites by them. If you haven't heard the song yet, I would recommend it, especially if you've ever been in the kind of situation mentioned in the lyrics. Like some others songs such as Pumped Up Kicks or Not Today, it is a lot happier-sounding in the music than when you actually read the lyrics, so heads up for that. **

**Anyway, if you ever feel like you can relate to the lyrics of this song, whether you've thought about doing anything mentioned in this song, actually done it or have stopped it, just know that you are not alone and there are resources available to help you. For example, there are multiple phone numbers you can call or, if you feel you can't talk to anyone over the phone, my inbox is always open. I have personal experience with this and I'm still working through it myself, so if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm always here. I love all of you, so don't ever feel you need to do what this song is about. People care about you x**

**Anyway, without any further ado, let's get right into this songfic!**

**Warning: Suicidal thoughts, self-harm, depression and anxiety (naturally, this is Virgil we're talking about). **

**Disclaimer: I own literally nothing in this story! The rights for lyrics go to Twenty Øne Piløts, and credit for characters goes to the great Thomas Sanders and his friends. I only came up with the storyline. Nothing else. **

**Enjoy! Or at least, try to.**

He can't take it anymore. Not like this.

Virgil storms down the corridor, not lifting his eyes from the carpet. He barges into his room and slams the door behind him, not even caring if any of the other Sides heard the noise.

He steps into his en-suite bathroom and closes the door, forgetting to lock it before digging through one of the drawers.

There it is.

The blade shines and gleams in the light from above his head, and Virgil feels his heart tighten in his chest. This is it. Coping easier.

The blade easily splits the skin on his arm, though he resists the urge to move towards his wrists further, settling on his elbows. The cuts immediately flare up, becoming a bright red as crimson blood rises and spills over the edge of the fresh ravine in his flesh. He grins, repressing the sick feeling in his stomach, and lowers the blade once more before hearing footsteps down the hallway. Patton's voice echoes against the walls, calling out for Virgil, concern lacing his voice heavily enough to drip from it, leaving puddles behind him on the floor.

"I'm okay, Patton!" He replies, opening his bedroom door a smidge as the dad Side enters his field of view. Patton doesn't smile, only stares at Virgil nervously. He runs his gaze up and down the shorter Side, and Virgil can feel the creeping anxiety rise up his back, threatening to send shivers down his spine. He swallows down bile before Patton nods slowly and forces a smile onto his lips.

"Okay kiddo, just let me know if you wanna talk about anything." He turns on his heel and walks away back towards the living room, and Virgil shits his door again. He pants slightly as the pain from his arm kicks in. This one hurts slightly more than the others.

Maybe that'll be all for tonight.

He pulls the thick black sleeve of his hoodie down again to cover his arm fully, hiding away all of the marks he's left over the years. He bites his lip as he drops down onto his bed and closes his eyes slowly.

The next evening is no better.

Virgil leaves the living room in a bad mood again and immediately returns to his bathroom, holding the razor blade for the second night running. Though the pain of yesterday's mark remains, he must do this. This is the only way he can cope...

He hears a knock at his door just as the blade pulls through his skin again, leaving another bleeding line. He hurriedly pulls his sleeve down and rushes to answer the door, dropping the blade to the countertop.

"Princey." Virgil's eyes widen as he takes in the Side in front of him. Roman smiles slightly in return.

"How are you, Virgil?" He asks, genuine worry lacing his voice. That's odd...

"I'm good." Anxiety replies unconvincingly, fighting the temptation to bite his lip. That would just give him away...

"Are you sure?" The Prince asks, raising an eyebrow. Virgil nods halfheartedly before Creativity speaks up again. "May I come in?" Virgil's eyebrows shoot up before he nods slowly and steps back, allowing the regal Side into his dim room.

Roman's gaze travels over the room once again, passing over the album covers on the wall, taking in the names of My Chemical Romance's 'Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge', Green Day's 'American Idiot', Gorillaz's self-named album and Fall Out Boy's 'American Beauty/American Psycho'. Virgil pushes through some of the fake spiderwebs and plonks himself down on his bed in the corner. Roman slowly approaches him, still taking in everything in the room. His gaze reaches Virgil's posters for 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' and a pang of longing once again flowers in his chest.

He slowly looks back at Virgil, who pulls his knees up closely to his chest and lays his head between them. His arms snake around his legs, holding them tightly. Roman cautiously approaches Virgil before his eyes snap to Anxiety's en-suite. The door is slightly ajar and the light has been left on. A slight metallic smell emanates from somewhere in the room. Roman's own anxiety rises and he bites his lip nervously as he turns to face Virgil again. He perched on the edge of the bed and looks at Virgil with concern in his eyes.

Roman reaches out and gently lowers Virgil's hood before lightly cupping his cheek, losing himself in Virgil's melted chocolate eyes for a second before shaking himself back into reality.

"Are you sure you're okay, Virgil?" He asks, and Anxiety sighs quietly before looking up into Roman's caramel eyes. He notices their worried shine and guilt creeps into Anxiety's bones. He tries to nod, but his body stiffens as tears stab at his eyes like hundreds of tiny needles.

Roman's grip on Virgil's cheek seems to stiffen slightly even as Anxiety breaks down. Roman quickly moves to him and wraps his arms around his shaking frame. Virgil sobs into Roman's shoulder for a few minutes before Roman whispers in Virgil's ear.

_"I know what you think in the morning,_" he sings quietly, and Virgil gasps quietly at the familiarity of the lyric and tune, "_when the sun shines on the ground and shows what you have done. Yeah, shows where your mind has gone." _Roman slowly pulls his arms back around Virgil's frame to look him in the eyes again.

"_And you swear to your parents that it will never happen again. I know, I know what that means. I know," _Roman takes a deep breath and seems to be pushing past something mentally before lifting Virgil's face up slightly to look him properly in the eyes, "_That you all have guns, and you never put the safely on, and you all have plans, to take it, to take it. Don't take it, take it, take it!" _Roman's voice rises in volume and pitch slightly, as though arguing with himself. He quickly shakes his head when he sees Virgil's worried expression. "_I'm trying, I'm trying to sleep. I'm trying, I'm trying to sleep, but I can't, but I can't when you all have guns for hands, yeah." _Roman continues the song quietly, repeating those few lines again. Virgil's mind wanders slightly - how could Princey know anything that he feels? How could the arguably most-loved and confident Side know anything about this?

Roman sighs gently before continuing into the second verse. "_Let's take this one second at a time. Let's take this one song, this one rhyme."_ His eyes flick rapidly back to the en-suite, at its slightly-open door and its bright, shining light casting shadows across the rest of the room. Just as fast, they return to Virgil's dark brown irises. _"Together, let's breathe. Together, to the beat." _He gently takes hold of Virgil's hand, wrapping his own around it comfortingly. Virgil subconsciously laces his fingers between Roman's, his eyes fixed on the taller Side's face.

_"But there's hope out the window, so that's where we'll go! Let's go outside and all join hands, but til then you'll never understand," _Roman's eyes shine in the half-light, glistening in a way that Virgil has never seen before. Their caramel colour swallows him, warming his cheeks and making him feel safe even as Roman repeats the pre-chorus and chorus. Once again, his voice changes as he sings the lines, his eyes squeezing shut as he breaks the eye-contact between the two Sides. He seems to cringe, a ripple tearing down his arms and shaking Virgil's hands which are still wrapped with the prince's. Without thinking, Virgil pulls one hand free from the pile of four and holds Roman's left shoulder in an attempt to awkwardly comfort him. To Virgil's surprise, the prince welcomes the touch, leaning into it. Roman's breathing increases slightly in pace and desperation as he approaches the bridge of the song. Virgil's voice greets his, harmonising with him in a way that Roman never knew he could.

_"We've turned our hands to guns, traded our thumbs for ammunition. I must forewarn ya', of my disorder, of my condition, 'cos when the sun sets it upsets what left of my invested interest, interested in putting my fingers to my head. The solution is I see a whole room of these mutant kids, fused at the wrist, I simply tell them they should shoot at this. Simply suggest my chest and this confused music. It's obviously best for them to turn their guns to a fist."_

The two Sides keep their eyes fixed on each other, looking deep into each other's. Virgil's blush deepens even as a light pink one dusts Roman's cheeks. They launch into the chorus together, bringing the song to its close. They just sit in silence for a minute or two before Virgil speaks up.

"Were you just singing the original lyrics or do you really feel and think all that?" He asks, not moving his gaze. Princey takes a moment to react.

"I meant it. All of it." He takes a deep breath before starting to speak again. "I know what it means, that song. I know what it's about. I know that many people, like you, hurt themselves sometimes. People like us." Virgil's eyes widen as Roman breaks the contact, ducking his gaze to his lap. "I used to do what you've been doing recently. I used to do it a lot. But I tried to find help. I got better. I became more lenient with myself, allowed the occasional slip-up, stopped trying to make everything perfect the first time around. I became kinder, to myself and others. I stopped separating myself from the people around me so I could focus on nothing but the work I felt I had to do 24/7 and I got involved with Logan and Patton more. That's why I pretended I didn't like you at first. Because you reminded me of what I didn't like about my past." Roman pauses to take another breath, only for Virgil to cut him off.

"You've always put too much pressure on yourself, you know this. I've told you, Logan's told you, Patton's told you, heck, even Thomas himself has told you! But you're right, not everything can be perfect all the time. That's your job." Roman's eyes snap up to Virgil's, and the latter can feel his blush burn brighter. Shit, said too much, said too much, said too—

"What do you mean?" Roman asks, cocking his head to side like a confused puppy.

"God, you can be oblivious sometimes." Virgil lets a soft chuckle escape his lips before Roman gasps.

"Wait, as in you think it's my job to be perfect?"

"Well, you're probably the closest one to perfect in the whole group. In my opinion, of course. Anyway, 'pretended' to not like me, huh?" The other Side's blush deepens again. Virgil fights to suppress a slight shudder as Roman bites his lip. Goddamn it, now is _not _the time! This is the worst possible time for this!

"Well, yeah. I guess so." Roman blushes even deeper until his face resembles the scarlet sash across his torso. Virgil's own cheeks glow to the point that Anxiety is sure that their colour is evident through his makeup.

"Virgil?" Roman clears his throat after a minute of silence in the room. Virgil hums in acknowledgement. "May I confess something to you?" Anxiety raises a single eyebrow as he regards the prince through the corners of his eyes. Slowly, he nods, not trusting himself to speak. "I may..." Roman breathes deeply one more time and Virgil shuffles closer to him to place a comforting hand on Creativity's shoulder. Roman flinched slightly at the touch before letting his eyes land on Virgil's again.

"I have a crush on someone." He whispers nervously, and Virgil's eyebrow only slides further upwards.

"Really?" He asks, a cocky, sly grin on his lips. "Who?" Internally cringing, he realises that he must resemble some form of the 'Lenny face'. He stifles a laugh by biting his bottom lip. Roman nods slowly, his breathing changing slightly as he watches Virgil.

"By the way, I have a crush too. We might as well revisit our middle school years and do this: I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours." Roman's expression drops.

"Why do I have to go first?!" He exclaims.

"You're the one who said you have a crush first! Thus, you go first. Besides, I have a theory who it may be so I need to know if I'm right before I can tell you who I have unrequited feelings for."

"Why would your feelings be unrequited?" Roman's voice immediately softens as he tilts Virgil's head around to face him. Virgil attempts to free his chin from the prince's grip, but Creativity's hold is firm. Sighing, he resigns to simply letting himself lean into the touch.

"Because no one in their right mind would like me in that sense, even if I was the last person on Earth."

"That's not true and we both know it!" Roman shouts before rapidly smacking his hand over his lips.

"What... what do you mean?" Roman doesn't respond. "Princey, tell me! Who do you know would like me back?!"

"Me, okay?!"

Virgil freezes as Roman lets go of his chin, pushing himself off the bed and heading for the door. Virgil's hand shoots out and grabs Roman by the wrist as he passes the sliver of light emanating from his en-suite.

"Wait." He murmurs as he slowly turns the prince around to face him. Slowly, he snakes his arms around Roman's neck and pulls him close. Roman's blush returns, somehow deeper than before and covering almost his entire face. "I... I like you too."

Roman's eyes flick downwards slightly towards Virgil's lips even as Virgil's return from their similar journey. Feeling his own face heat up, Virgil nods slightly, silently giving Roman permission.

Roman closes the gap soon after, eyes fluttering shut as his lips meet Virgil's. Anxiety can feel his breath hitch in his throat, though he soon lets his own eyes copy Roman's. The prince's arms wrap around Virgil's waist, pulling him closer. After as long as the two could go without breathing, they slowly pull back from each other, panting quietly.

"I love you, Virgil." Roman whispers in Anxiety's ear as he slowly unwinds his arms. "Don't you ever worry about that." Virgil nods as he pulls his own arms back from around Roman's neck.

"I love you too, Princey."

***squee***

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this as much as you could. I know, it's not a full songfic but oh well, I wasn't really sold on writing out the chorus three times, especially since I'd have to write pretty much filler for the bits in between. And this is awkward enough XD**

**So, once again, if you ever feel the need to talk to someone about how you may be feeling, especially if you want to do or have recently done what Virgil did at the beginning of the story, there are people who care and will listen to you. Family, friends, hotlines and more are always good listeners, and if all else fails, my inbox is always open. **

**I wish you all the best, and as always if you have any comments, questions, feedback or other, feel free to leave them in the reviews or DM me. I always love to hear what you all have to say about what I write and the contact keeps me sane. **

**Stay safe, I love you all!**

**For now, though, take it easy, guys, gals and non-binary pals. **

**_Peace out!_**

**-LunaPikazard**


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